Silent

It has been the most sinful part of life recently.
i invested 50% of my attention into this to make myself feel better.
I've used up my watever reasons whatever brain cells to come out with something so that my balloon will not brust.

I wanted to do whatever I can to make up all the shit i've created, but i am struck there. right in the middle of the crossroad. there is no passer bus or car. no one to help me except myself.
but the luck and opportunity just adsent in me.
I am still at where i am right in the beginning.
I think this must be the karma. but i dont understand, there is so much other beings whom are worst den me, why are they living a better life off me?
I just wan to move on to the next stage in life quickly so that i can repay every shit i have done. of which some may be of inconvenience to others.
I will be a better person
why can't i...

i've got enough of shit already.
don't try to give me any more.
don't think you are old den u can easily put any blame on me.
i gave you the basic respect because i am well-taught and you're old.
I employed you to help me, not the other way round.
now the balloon is brust.
this stupid thing which is not supposed to happen just happened all of a sudden because of your mistake.
this has cause alot of inconvenience to me.
i am not blaming you. i am just learning from you. letting you know how uneasy it is.
I won't put on a fake mask for the next few weeks, though it may sounds short.
i choose to end it.
I don't wan to bump the car into the middle of the road because i am pissed off.

I just don't wan to take any shit anymore.
i will be stronger. just let me get over it. there is so many others out there for you to fool around, let me off.